“Babe, I don’t want other guys looking at you.” Or, “That’s too much skin and I can’t bear how other boys will be looking at you.”
At first, these lines can be quite flattering. You may think that your man is only trying to be your knight in shining armor trying to protect you.
But is he really? Is he trying to protect you or control you? When do you draw the line between what’s simply a manifestation of love and a sign of manipulative behavior?
When Your Partner Is Too Concern about Your Wardrobe
As they say, it takes two to tango and this is very true when it comes to relationship. A successful relationship is one where both partners give and take, listen and get to be heard.
Hence, it is normal to hear your partner make occasional comments and give you random advices on things including what and how you wear your outfit.
But as always, there’s a thin line that sets boundary between a mere expression of opinion from a possessive and controlling behavior in a relationship.
Your partner may like to see you wearing a certain outfit or clothing style and that’s okay. She or he may be able to advise you or guide you with the color or style that looks best on you. However, a line may well be crossed if your partner starts to dictate you on what you should and shouldn’t wear or ask you to completely change your wardrobe style.
When your partner is extremely particular about your wardrobe it ca be a sign of abuse as he taking away your freedom to choose.
Here are some signs that he meant to control you particularly in your wardrobe choice which can be the start of his manipulation tactics:
- He insists on what you should and shouldn’t wear and you feel obliged to follow otherwise a confrontation will follow.
- He demands that you revamp your wardrobe and make you feel guilty or dirty about your choices.
- He resorts to name-calling when you wear something he doesn’t like.
- He starts following you around as you shop for your wardrobe and dictates you what you should and shouldn’t buy.
Abusive behavior comes with a pattern. The most common sign is coercive control. When you have a controlling partner he may do things out of the way to make you doubt your own worth and question your ideas, actions and beliefs. This can cause you to develop lack of self confidence and feel less.
As you become trapped in the relationship, you may find your self simply closing your mouth to avoid arguments even if you are right or you may just become submissive to maintain peace. All these can only lead to vicious cycle of your abusive partner’s manipulative behavior.
Nobody deserves to be trapped in a controlling relationship. A good relationship is bound not just by love but by respect and trust. It should bring out the best in you and not make you feel trapped or limited.
It may be hard to determine and even accept that you are wasting your time in a toxic relationship but know that you are always worth more.
You deserve a relationship that will make you happy and grow as a person.