Relationships are work. They are an entity in and of itself. It’s constant work and not something that can be focused on by everyone else, advice from everyone else, and everyone else in your business. However, having a relationship and a marriage now on a reality show seems to be the norm. And while there are some that have lasted, but they are the minority. The majority have ended in epic failure, or divorce, however you want to look at it.
And it’s all aired on national TV. But instead of being jaded, let’s look at this as to how it can strengthen and how it can weaken the relationship.
How it can Weaken the Relationship
Although the parties on reality TV are in a real marriage or relationship, they are playing a role when on the camera. While yes the shows are not scripted in their entirety there is something to be said that they are going to act a certain way in front of the camera, or they are going to have to do certain things (dates, parties, etc.) that maybe they wouldn’t normally want to do. Plus they have to be on point at all times. When they are at home, how many of them do you actually see in their pajamas that are ratty and ripped like the rest of the world?
It can also amplify issues that are already there, especially things like jealously and trust. Imagine watching a recap of the show and you didn’t know that your spouse went somewhere else. That will definitely be a factor in determining how trust worthy they are. Phone calls can be heard, you’re follows all over town on a regular basis, etc. With everything being watched 24/7 (or so they say) it can start to put a strain on issues that are already there.
The most important part it weakens is privacy and personal time. There are plenty of stars who don’t have a reality show, you hear nothing about their relationship, but yet they have been together for decades. Everyone needs that private time, time to decompress and just be, time to walk around the house naked without fear of a camera being on and footage being leaked. It happens. But the fact is relationships in reality should not be part of reality TV. Save that for scripted shows and action shows, not relationships that are already work to keep together. The couples should be focused on their partnership and not their views.
How it can Strengthen the Relationship
There are a few ways that the relationship can be made better by reality TV. With the same sense that they may feel like they are playing a role, some people actually enjoy that. Maybe what they do on camera isn’t really who they are, but while they are pretending, they are into it. It gives them the satisfaction of being with someone who is different in person. A lot of people do it, but they just don’t talk about it. Role playing is a real thing and although it’s “reality” TV, their idea of reality doesn’t have to be ours.
Another way is that it could make them work harder than they ever have before on their relationship. Maybe they don’t want to fail (who does) and they want to ensure that their relationship stays strong. Having someone focused on them at all times creates habits, the habits of taking care of each other for the camera, for the fans, but it rubs off in real life. That can be beneficial. The more you do something, the better you get at it. So while at home without being in the public eye, they may do the same things.
Lastly, it could drastically improve their communication. In order to do something like this, you have to be open and honest with each other about the expectations for the TV and the expectations for real life outside of the reality TV world. Having a strong bond when it comes to discussions is important because then issues can be sorted out before they become divorce worthy. This could be the one saving grace for many of the couples, but if communication fails, the rest will as well.
All in all, personal relationships should be just that, personal, and kept off TV unless it’s scripted.